Easy to Share Your Story on Facebook by Flash Video - Technology

Ticktack, ticktack, the clock hands continuously moves; ticktack, ticktack, the friends who are far away from your apartment are missing you

The World is a universe of interesting story:Accompanied by the silvery ticktack of clock, many interesting stories are progressing on every corner of the earth, such as joyous birthday party of kids, vivacious school life, romantic dating, wedding ceremony as well as grand occasions of different country, companies, or organizations etc. The world is absolutely a universe of stories! In every blink of an eye, maybe a funny thing happened. Fine and memorable stories are always worthy of a life-time cherishment, therefore, we carry out digital cameras and want to snapshot these memorable stories by photos and videos.

Nice videos should be shared with the world:"Happiness is really contagious", said some researchers. Happiness can be delivered among families, friends, colleagues or even people of different countries. Happiness can cheer the atmosphere and others' heart. Since you got some wonderful videos which record the happy stories of your life, why not let your happiness be transmitted among your friends? Through videos, your stories and smiles will be shared; your sensation and mood will be known by people who concern you in every ticktack of clock hands.Share videos on online channel Facebook:If you are in mind of sharing videos with the world, then Facebook must be the perfect online channel. Facebook allows everyone who has registered to upload video and share them with friends. No matter personal memories, company events, or jocular videos, Facebook can easily accommodate and broadcast them. However, problems may happen when we upload big-size videos to Facebook.

The common problem in uploading video to Facebook:Question: "I'm struggling to upload my AVI video to Facebook, where the time limit per video is 20 minutes. But the video I'm trying to upload is only 11 minutes long, but the site reports that the video failed to process, because it's too long...any idea? "Answer: "it could be a file size restriction you're breaking, and not actually the length that's the problem. Sometimes you'll get a message about length when it's actually size that counts. "When you encounter the above situation, you'd better decrease the size of your video: convert videos to flash videos, including FLV format, SWF format etc. The FLV and SWF formatted videos usually get a smaller size than video format that got from digital camera which contains the same content. Meanwhile, the flash videos can be easily uploaded to Facebook and loaded during viewing since the size is much smaller.

Best tool for converting video to flash format (/video-to-flash/)?Kvisoft video to flash converter can help you convert videos of any format to flash videos in seconds. What's more, video to flash converter also allows you to perfect your life-story videos, such crop video screen size, clip down unwanted parts, adjust the quality of video etc. Check the tutorial on YouTube for converting video to flash (/watch?v=49-EMa_Mngc).

Why not let your story and voice be heard by flash videos!

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Touched Story in Grey's Anatomy - Entertainment - Television

In the Grey's Anatomy, the guys in this show try their best to help the patients overcome the serious illness. We don't tell the story about their hard time, we just talk about the story between the doctors and the patients.

I think the dotors in Grey's Anatomy Seasons 1-7 DVD are so great and the relationship between patients and them are so close. They offer themselves as a tribute. They are the angel in white.

I encountered a story in hospital. It was so moved that I bursted into tears.

I really want to go back and frivolous young, although ignorant but sincere! Frivolous but there is a "dream"! Think now, funny! Homes "! Willing?! Grew up unconsciously and unknowingly bear so much the cost of" force "a person's growth is always accompanied by a story, this story many years after you the most beautiful memories! just memories, you will find yourself really grow up, I kept thinking Buddha said, a life such as living among the thorns, the heart does not move, not frivolous, not moving is not hurt; such as heart people reckless and hurt their body pain bone, so the experience into the world all sorts of pain!

Life of each person is unique, and each life is hit, after all, have my whole life story, and when we get a second life at the same time, that gives us a second life is our life always rememberpeople. Jingmen City petrochemical Hospital to the people of our second life, say the touching story of the petrochemical hospital really is endless.

This is only a few moving stories, stories like this truth, petrochemical hospital every day played out. It is Jingmen Petrochemical Hospital doctors and nurses selfless dedication, and efforts to provide quality services for patients, has won the trust of the majority of patients, and social praise. Wish to petrochemical hospital can have a second chance at life, and actively move towards a more brilliant tomorrow.

Opened a hospital and a thick cotton curtain, outdoor sun is tightly blocked in behind him. This is another world, crowded, noisy, even the colors are like cast a silent shadow layer of tea, like overnight.

Those who passed from the side, you see only hastily through color. It is dark blue, coffee, gray, black, and a mixture of color, and then attached to the different people with different materials and shapes. Sometimes jackets, suits, and sometimes cotton, and even backpack. I would like to share more touching stories in hospital at DVD reviews.

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Read Funny Jokes Every Day, Be Healthier Every Day, Too - Entertainment - Humor

We will all agree that funny jokes make us laugh and laugh and then laugh again. Laughter, after all, is far more contagious than a sneeze, a sniffle and a cough - and laughing with family and friends is definitely something you can live with every day. Did you know, however, that laughing at the humour behind funny short stories has its fair share of health benefits? We are not just talking about health in your mind and body but in your relationships as well. Best of all, these hilarious jokes and funny short stories are free!

How does a good amount of laughter from reading funny jokes become good medicine in everyday life? In terms of physical health, laughter:

Relaxes the entire body, which provides relief from mental stress and physical tension for up to 45 minutes after the laughing has stopped. Boosts the immune system's capacity to fight infections because it increases production of antibodies and immune cells. Promotes an overall sense of well-being because the feel-good hormones known as endorphins are released. Protects the heart since blood flow is increased.

So, whenever you feel that your body is stressed to its limit, just read funny short stories and laugh your heart out. You will feel good afterwards, trust us.

As for your emotional health, reading funny jokes and then laughing your head off provides for many benefits, too. You will experience your:

Negative emotions melting away since you cannot be anxious, sad or angry when you are laughing. Stress levels decreasing because your mind is diverted away from your stress triggers. Unfavourable perspective of stressful situations changes, which means that you can cope in a better manner.

Indeed, psychologists and psychiatrists recommend a good dose of laughter whenever you feel depressed, furious, frustrated and a whole host of negative emotions. Laughter is definitely better than an entire bottle to boost your sagging spirits.

Of course, we cannot forget the beneficial effects of laughter on establishing and strengthening our social relationships. Your romantic relationship will always be fresh, exciting and alive when you can share many moments of laughter. In fact, you may even want your partner to have a sense of humour first and foremost with all other qualities coming in a close second. After all, sex passes but laughter stays.

So, read funny jokes stories now and get ready for a healthier you! Laughter is definitely better than an entire bottle to boost your sagging spirits.

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World Skating Champion's life story revealed in Xlibris release - Sports - Figure Skating

"Gold! The Todd Eldredge Story" is the exciting biography of Champion skater Todd Eldredge, whose dedication through triumphs and sorrow will inspire readers to never give up on a dream.

Self-published author Alicia Styles explores the triumphs and tribulations of six-time World medalist, six-time U.S. National Champion and a three time Olympian champion figure skater Todd Eldredge insightfully chronicling an illustrious career that spans over two decades of competitive skating.

From a boy who wanted to trade in his hockey skates for figure skates as he wanted to wanted to "jump and spin", to his move to Philadelphia to train with renowned coach Richard Callaghan, Alicia Styles traces the champion's early beginnings to his eventual inclusion into the American skating hall of fame.

The book also trains the spotlight on the cast of supporters that saw him through every endeavor, chief among them are Todd's mother Ruth and his father John.

Todd Eldrege's story is fraught with struggles beginning with his family's modest financial background, which did not keep him from pursuing his golden dream. The book also tells of how his local Chatham, Massachusetts community generously stood behind him by pooling in funds to support his training.

The book offers further insight into the champion's persona and the accompanying dilemmas intriguingly written thus, "The contradictions of the personality and career swirled in concentric, intermeshing circles much like the beautifully cut geometric arcs he traced in the ice surface as he spiraled ever faster toward a quad attempt. The duality. That was what drove the women crazy. Funny thing was, it drove him crazy, too."

The biography is published through Xlibris Corporation. This Bloomington, Indiana based self-publishing pioneer has been providing authors like Alicia Styles with direct and personal access to bookstore quality publication in hardcover, trade paperback, custom leather-bound, and full-color formats.

For more information, please visit , e-mail or call at 1-888-795-4274, to receive a free publishing guide.

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Celebrities Funny Life Quotes And Sayings - Self Help

It appears people nowadays can easily find numerous quotes available online. All those who read quotes and sayings want to be inspired and motivated. Furthermore, the audience do not easily get bored of reading them because the message is straight forward and also has a few words. Quotes and sayings bring light and understanding to readers. These folks come from the bottom of the society to the prominent people. Below are some of the most famous life quotes from celebrities that you'll find amusing.

"The road to success is always under construction" By Lily TomlinIndeed, success is a long process. If you need to be successful, you need to start from the bottom. You need to be trainee first or take extra work if you want to be the head teacher. Perhaps being a head nurse is what you've been wanting, you need to finish first your education and pass its examination. You may encounter trials and hardships as you go. But these is not meant to be the reason for not reaching your goals and ambitions.

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second". By Johnny DeppIndeed, love is not really a simple thing. There are instances when someone loves two different people at the same time. Others have to commit affairs because they love another yet they cannot leave their marital partners basically because they still have feelings for them. The famous actor of the Pirates of the Carribean ought to have been saying this quote with wisdom. In case you still cherish your first love, you will not find another person to love. Just in case you need to choose, pick your new love. These are just Depp's thoughts. Remember, the decision still lies on you just in case you are caught in such situation.

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." By Katherine HepburnTruly, it very flattering to apprehend admiration from men especially if you are a maiden. A sense of confidence and pride is what it provides to a woman. Criticism is a critical observation or remark, as several dictionaries describe. Criticism might be understand either positive or negative way. In marriage, husband and wife are very lenient with one another. Giving criticism has been part of the daily lives for quite some couples. It boils down on the partner's motive why the criticism is given. However, married couples should learn also to give complements and positive comments to their spouses instead of criticisms. Appreciation is what it is called.

"You've got enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something in your life." By EminemIndividuals have different point of views and what they believe in life, that's the truth. Sometimes being firm about what you believe might ruin relationships and may even increase your enemies. However, it'll also give you relief that you do not let others opinions tamper yours. Eminem or Marshall Bruce Mathers III is a popular American rapper, songwriter and producer. His songs has made lots of individuals angry because they are very controversial. It's not a new story that he had several feuds with other celebrities and family members because of the contentious lyrics that he wrote and sang. Perhaps, he is just being true to himself.

Like us, celebrities are opinionated too. They have minds to speak too. Quotes which were mentioned above are all celebrity quotes. They aren't just comical, people of different walks of life can greatly relate to them as well.

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Mommy Humor - Funny Short Story: Lying - Entertainment - Humor

This is a funny short story about lying. Lying is a learned skill. Some people are good at it, and others are not. Poker players can't win without being great at it. Politicians can't get elected without perfecting the art. As parents, we need to be able to detect it. The key for the liar is knowing when to make the attempt (you can get away with it) and when to show restraint. Thankfully most of our young children are really bad at it now, but I predict that unfortunately they'll get better at it as they get older. This funny short story won't help you deal with the lying, but hopefully it'll cheer you up while you're dealing with it.

We have two kids; they're around the same age (girl-9 & boy-7). They're also around the same size which becomes important when fists fly, but doesn't really come into play for the lying thing. As you no doubt have already guessed (based on your own vast experience), the most common case is a pair of fingers pointing in the opposite direction.

I know SOMEBODY did it. It's not even worth my time to ask Mommy if SHE did it because when was the last time Mommy mistakenly (or lazily) dropped a half-eaten candy cane on the carpet floor? And sure, I had a couple of drinks last night, but I don't even LIKE candy canes. No, the guilty party is definitely standing right in front of me. All I have to do is figure out who it is.

Here's the funny part: While I'm planning my next move in response to the criss-cross of accusational fingers, the guilty party fesses up!... and I can't for the life of me figure out why! Perhaps it's because both of them (or at least the guilty one) didn't take the time to ponder how even Sherlock Holmes would be at a loss at where to start. It's not out of fear; I've never even raised my voice to either of them (I'm saving that for the right moment, like for the first time one of them drinks and drives or performs some other life threatening sin of stupidity).

The punishment is minor. Pick up the candy cane and spend a minute or so rubbing the sticky carpet with a damp sponge... or if the offense was failing to put away the Wii video game you lose one day of access to the device. My best guess is that the lack of sting included in the punishment is what's helping in the perpetrator discovery phase.

The kids don't do any better in the flip-side scenario. "Who spilled food coloring all over the fireplace?" produces the two pointing fingers, but only one of them is covered in purple food coloring. It's hard to not laugh.

Another funny short story (shorter but funnier), about a year ago I went on a walk with my friend and his two kids. In the interest of his privacy I neither confirm nor deny that this friend is a relative of mine, or even that this friend exists outside of my vivid imagination. Anyway, I'm talking on my cell phone and at some point there's a commotion that catches my attention. I hear my friend say, "I'm sure he wasn't TRYING to kick you!" The boy interjects, "I WAS trying to kick her, but I missed and kicked her bike instead."

Well there you have it. They've got a lot to learn before graduating from law school. In the meantime let's be thankful for their lack of skill in the art of deception, hoping that it takes as long as possible for them to catch on. Also in the meantime it provides plenty of material for a funny short story.

DISCLAIMER: While the events described above are representative of true to life events in the life of the author, details of the story may be fuzzy or embellished for the benefit of the reader's enjoyment and for the benefit of SEO (Search Engine Optimization - the keyphrase is "funny short story"... Admit it, that's what you typed into the search box).

Sales plug: If you have a young child that is just starting to learn about numbers, the Kidknows TM Outdoor Thermometer for kids is now available on-line and at select Learning Express stores nationwide. Please click on: THIS ARTICLE to visit this article on our web site or on: KIDKNOWS TM OUTDOOR THERMOMETER to visit our home page.

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Funny Life Quotes To Take The Seriousness Out Of Living - Advertising - Display Advertising

Funny life quotes can be a sainted justification to make you laugh. These funny life quotes have much more benefit other than laughing. You can guess the benefits of laughing as:-o It creates task, fun and marrow in lifespan. o It gives us an assay to unwind friends and turn friendliness. We can get our funny incidents with apiece added. o It is stabilizing in removing emotion from the surroundings. o It relieves the importance and our flip gets onward from reason. o We feel unstained after substantial laugh. o It neatens our courage.

Funny life quotes makes us reassured and upbeat. It changes your knowledge and things seem well. Apiece one of us has got both unparalleled qualities. We should use them in achieving the dictation of roaring life. Here are some of the funny life quotes to enjoy. Read and enjoy these quotes:

"How many times is it allotted to say "What?" before you nod and smiling because you soothe didn't pore or translate a promise they said?"

"How is it that one change can commence a set attack, but it takes a whole box of matches to line a campfire?"

"I bonk that you expect you realize what you believe I said, but I'm not certain you actualize that what you heard is not what I meant."

"The incoming instant you suppose you're perfect, try travel on earth."

"Sometimes I'll lie imbibe at my surveillance 3 consecutive nowadays and relieve not see what quantify it is."

"Regularize low ideal conditions grouping bed travail locating their car keys in a in-curvature, discovery their room phone, and Pinning the Spy on the Ass - but I'd bet everyone can see and actuation the snooze fix from 3 feet off, in most 1.7 seconds, eyes obstructed, front abstraction, every second."

"Why do they birdsong it act minute when thing moves?" "Bad decisions get opportune stories."

"How is it that our module is angelic sufficiency to prolong the smallest trifle that happens to us, and yet not upright enough to recollect how ofttimes we jazz told it to the equal somebody?"

"I human six locks on my threshold all in a row. When I go out, I embrace every opposite one. I personage no weigh how terrestrial somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking trinity."

"People who breathing always autumn slumber first."

"The bother with, "A set for everything and everything in its square" is that there's ever statesman everything than places."

"No one is listening until you move gas."

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Funny SMSs and Where to Find Them - Family - Teenagers

Texting has literally gone out of hand and it is very easy to see why this is so. People are absolutely crazy about this new thing that has been introduced to them. There was a time when a merry get together would be held at the house of a friend or a picnic would be arranged somewhere to relieve people from their daily routine. The purpose of all this was to allow everyone sometime to laugh and be merry but thanks to the workload of the people this is no longer possible. This has caused people to have a very restricted social life. The work they have to do is so exhausting that even when they get some time free their first priority is to get some sleep. This all has led to minimum social interaction. People do not get to have a relaxed time where they can connect with other people. This causes their brain to be under constant stress and is very bad for the health. To make sure that people do get a little time to laugh or relax people started telling jokes. These were funn y scenarios or conversations between people but made people laugh a lot. People than began to send these jokes as text messages to others to make them laugh. They became very popular instantly and are known as Jokes SMS these days. These are sent to and fro people to share the laughter and are great for reducing stress. A lot of people compose these SMSs but if you want these can be found easily on the internet as well. There is a large variety of categories that is found in these SMSs also, so a user can easily pick the one that he wants. The websites that have these SMSs make sure that they are updated regularly otherwise the user might lose interest.

Jokes SMS are one of a kind. They are hilarious and the words rhyme making it even funnier. People who write funny poetry are natural. They know exactly what to write and how to write it to make others laugh. Funny poetry is appreciated throughout the word as everyone loves a good laugh. They have recently become very popular and this is due to texting, people mostly read these poems online and then send them to their family and friends to share the funny text. Sometimes these poems are funny versions of serious poems but most of the time they are written on social topics. These are really good and are found on the internet basically unless someone has composed it and sent it himself.

Santa Banta Jokes are very popular in Asia. These jokes have two men in them, after whom the jokes have been named. The jokes revolve around the blunders that are made by them and also around their dumb conversations that are bound to send anyone into laughter fits.

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Characteristics Of A Limerick Poem - Art - Poetry

The following characteristics define what is a Limerick poem:

A Limerick poem will always have 5 lines to it; no more, no less. And these are usually very short sentenced lines; nothing too elaborate; only a witty twist of words Off these 5 lines, lines # 1, 2 and 5 should always end in words that rhyme with each other Consequently, lines # 3 and 4 should always end in words that rhyme with one another. However, the ending words for lines 3 and 4 must have a different sound than the words than end lines # 1, 2 and 5. Usually most writers will reinforce the rhyming rule by asking you to follow the 'aabba' rule. To make it a little more engaging, simply go with the "DA DA DI DI DA" flow i.e. ending words for lines 3 & 4 rhyme with each other, and likewise the last words for the 3 other remaining lines should rhyme with each other as well. The essence of a Limerick poem is written in the last line i.e. Line # 5 contains the punch line (the most humorous or jokey) part of the whole poem.

The easiest way to remember the above mentioned rules are; there are 5 rules to the 5-lined Limerick poem; as simple as that.Famous Limerick Poems

While you will come across many limericks that are acclaimed, one of the more popular and well-known classic Limericks goes like:

There was a young rustic named Mallory,

who drew but a very small salary,

When he went to the show,

his purse made him go

to a seat in the uppermost gallery

Notice how the words end up rhyming in lines # 1, 2, 5 and lines # 3, 4. While the history of limericks remains a point of debate till this day, the above written Limerick is one of the most primitive uses of this form of poetry from a newspaper published in New Brunswick during 1880. Examples of Limericks - Limericks for Kids, and Funny LimerickExample (1)

There once was an old man from Peru

His poor llamas came down with the flu

In the valley he passed

All the people who gasped

At the beast that was uttering "moo"

Example (2)

There was an old man from Peru,

who dreamed he was eating his shoe

He awoke in the night

with a terrible fright

and found out that it was quite trueTypes of Limerick Poems

Limerick poetry is typically used for fun and entertaining events and comprise of the following kind of commonly crafted poems:

Dirty limerick Funny limerick Birthday limerick Retirement limerick Escorts limerick Street girl limerick

Definition of a Limerick?

A limerick can be defined as,

"A five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet".

OR

"Often referred to as nonsense poetry, Limericks are types of poems that are meant to be amusing, humorous and comical in nature and tonality; though the comedy can at times be obscene & raunchy in nature as well".Figurative Devices Used in Limericks

Figurative devices such as hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and the kike are used to write down limerick poems. The last line of a good limerick poem typically contains the "punch line" or "heart of the joke."

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Beautiful Poems and Beautiful Poets - Education - Online Education

Good Fences make Good Neighbors - Robert Frost says it in his 'Mending Wall'. Poems are always beautiful. Poems are Beautiful to read and more beautiful to feel. Words framed in rhythmic order makes a poem. It can be a stanza with four lines or couplet with two lines or a funny limerick, poems are poems. Life is dictated in few lines. Love is romanced in few lines. Hatred shown, emotions spilled, embraced and at times protests. It all covers in minimum words.

Many poets went on to describe nature and their beloved ones. Above all The Almighty. Whatever might be their subject or object people find beauty in it. Poets feel they are obsessed to fill the brains of readers what they see, feel and think. Be it Shakespeare or John Keats they have got their Impacts.

'La Belle Dame Sans Merci' written by John Keats says a story of a Knight falling for a beautiful lady without mercy is one of the well spoken love poems. There are few more poems and poets praised for years. These love poems narrates falling in love and the cozy feel with the partner. Most of the poems describe the beauty in the feminine. Poems speak about wars. Poets raise their voice against war through poems. Poems speak about security. Poets fight for equality. Poems and poetry and poets are abstract. People criticize them to be introverts but an introvert can create master pieces says the history. The still solemn nights and moonlights are poets' admirations.

Apart from the above said love and poems of war there are other genre too. Poems can be broadly categorized to Narrative Poetry, Epic Poetry, Dramatic Poetry, Satirical Poetry, Lyric Poetry, Elegy, Verse Fable, Prose Poetry and Speculative Poetry.

Poems are defined by their forms too, it depends on the no of lines the poem has. A poem is broken into stanzas of four lines each. If the poem has fourteen lines then it is called Sonnet. Of all the forms, Sonnet is popular since ages. Few of the other forms that are regionally popular are Jintishi, Haiki and ode - few to name.

Few of the poets who mesmerized the readers with their writings and counted for years are: W.B Yeats, Robert Frost, T.S. Eliot, William Shakespeare, John Keats, John Milton, Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Emily Dickinson.

Sometimes poems are complex due to the rhythm and this makes the starters irritated or cause slow reading. These books are now available online where you can select yourself and find a good one to read. These words are honey coated and poems make you addicted too.

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The Funny Side of Shower Invitations - Shopping - Fashion Style

This is a classic element of preparing for your wedding ceremony to possess a bridal shower some months prior to the significant day. The female mates in the bride come collectively to participate in games, rejoice together, and provides the bride some gifts she may well obtain valuable just after the vows are taken. 1 essential aspect of scheduling the shower, just as in preparing the marriage, is gaining the written bridal shower invitations sent out.

The most vital point is usually to produce an upbeat and cheerful natural environment. So any time you commence to system your favored bride??s bridal shower ensure that to incorporate the many usual significant facts: locale, date, time, cause, etcetera. Be sure that you consist of any get hold of data with your bridal shower invitations to ensure all those not able to attend can notify you and so that you can obtain an accurate head count of those who do plan to be present.

Just after the many mundane specifics are cared for and adequately organized, include a witty expressing to ensure your attendees will feel comfy and set the mood to get a fantastic occasion. You could be as foolish while you want along with your visitors might be thrilled and fired up to attend this bridal shower. This a person is guaranteed to remember to your friends.

???With one particular hand holding his coronary heart,

He asked ??Maya, will you be my without end???

And considering that her answer was of course,

This bridal shower must be the very best!??

If cutesy isn??t the way in which the bride would ordinarily behave, you are able to shock your attendees by spicing up the invitation a little. Commence by coming up with the card for being quite dainty and girly over the external; incorporate as a great deal pink lace and jewels as you can cope with. While the exterior resembles a princess theme, the inside will boast a sultry, mischievous poem. Based on the bride, these antidotes is as undesirable or as good while you like. The one particular under is sure to indicate your friends that this is certain to be considered a bridal shower like they've got certainly not professional prior to.

???Since they fulfilled in a park

And kissed until finally it grew darkish

Her bridal shower has to be completed ideal ?C

Prolonged and intense all evening!??

It doesn??t subject what you produce in your invitation as long as it's engaging towards your visitors. Your target is always to persuade everyone who is invited to return possess a wonderful time and share inside the extraordinary night that you have prepared. The invitation may be the doorway in to the bridal shower and so the card is pertinent in establishing a calm ambiance that equally family and mates can appreciate.

By including these delightful rhymes in the invitation; you're guaranteed to have your visitors smiling, otherwise laughing hysterically. The bride will enjoy your enthusiasm for her special occasion and can be sure you retain the invitation to be a image within your work and enthusiasm that you just put into her bridal shower.

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Poems and Birthday Text Messages - Technology - Cell Phones

Birthdays are a very festive occasion that comes every year and a person is very happy on this particular day mostly because this day is all about them. People send wishes and cards and almost every time a party is given to the person or demands of treat are piled up on the person. People are quite enthusiastic about this day and most of the people who cannot join in for the festivities send Birthday SMSs so that they too can be a part of the person's big day. On the other hand we have poems, most of the people who don't understand this art ask that why poetry is so important? What they don't understand is that poetry is the best way of explaining what you really feel. Expression is the most vital thing there is when it comes to script. There are thousands of people who have really good ideas and concepts but are not good at expressing them and for this reason they don't often succeed at writing but then there are people who are average and have common ideas and thinking a bout things but they have a certain way of expressing these ideas that makes them really good and also it attracts the listener. People rather listen to individuals who express in a good way than to those who have good ideas but no expression. These individuals are aware of what they are saying and what they have to say so that it affects the listener and also maintains interest. A person cannot listen to someone who does not know how to clear his point or is not good at it. People will lose interest and it would lead to a monotonous debate. A person who knows how to get his point across captivates the audience. People hang on to every word and try to see from the perspective of that person. They can also convince people easily. When a person writes he keeps in mind a number of things. It is basically a way of expressing the strong emotions a person feels and there is nothing better to do so than write. There are different things that a person can write but the thing that is most feelings orientated is a poem. Poems can be of different kinds and can be written differently but the way they are written tells about the emotions and ideas of the poet very clearly.Funny SMSs are of a totally different kind. Though these messages have categories too, they can be sent to anyone as the main point of these messages is to make people laugh which they clearly do. Most of these text messages are written by companies that want to induce texting so that they can gain profit but there are those people as well who are very good at composing jokes and forward their own creations to other people to make them laugh. Funny SMSs are usually high in demand.

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3 Funny Ways To Say I Love You - Relationships

There are funny ways to say I love you to a person. Although unexpected, adding a twist of humor to your declaration of love often receives a positive response.

If want to know some funny ways to say I love you, read on!

1) Make Your Own Music Video.

In this day and age, it's quite easy for a person to direct and star in his own music video! All you need is a camcorder, a computer and a video editing program. If you want to keep everything real, you can even ditch the editing part and show your video raw!

As to what kind of music video you want to create, that's all up to you. You can choose to rap your theme song or copy an already existing video that you both like.

Then, turn the notch up on funny. Exaggerate. You don't have to worry about looking a little foolish because let's face it, love makes fools of us all.

2) Do It Through Interpretative Dance.

One of the funny ways to say I love you is by doing an interpretative dance. If you're a bad dancer, then this is going to be even more hilarious than usual. You can choose a really cheesy song from the early 90's or mix a tape with danceable beats to plan your choreography around.

As with creating your own music video, you don't need to worry about looking a little stupid. You want to tell your lover how in love you are and you want to do it in a humorous way: I say interpretative dance all the way! Just don't do it in front of the parents or in some place public!

3) Rhyme Without Reason.

Poetry has been known to melt even the coldest of hearts but funny poetry - that is another matter altogether. In your best poetic tone, tell your partner how filled with love you are in rhyme.

You can recite a funny poem or spontaneously respond to conversation in rhyme. This is one of the funny ways to say I love you if you both have a good sense of humor! Of course, you should also know when to stop with the jokes and sober up.

Love isn't always meant to be taken seriously. What is a relationship without a sense of humor, eh? With these funny ways to say I love you, I guarantee that your passion will be kept alive in more ways than one!

==funny story==

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Funny SMS Can Relax Your Friends And Family - Art - Poetry

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile. Smile is the best pleasant or favorable disposition or aspect. If you're not using your smile, you're like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook. Now the question arises is what fun is? I will define "fun" as anything that is done solely for pleasure, gaiety, enjoyment or amusement, making us happy; we need a healthy life full of happiness and joys. For that we should enjoy our lives by having fun which makes us to smile. A very important medium of smiling and rejoicing our friends and family members is Fuuny SMS.

Funny sms can be in the form of large collection of funny messages, funny SMS, funny quotes, funny greetings, funny poems, and funny phrases. Now days it is very common way to get entertained by downloading the Latest funny SMS and also by sending them through various sources like mobiles and internet to put the change in the mood of your friends and family members. Fun can be created in many ways .To put a smile in anyone's face not only refreshes that person but also you get reward of it. You can find any kind of funny sms in different websites. But you have to search for the best one which will not only good in the texture but also quality enhancing of that funny text messages. Life is very short we should enjoy it always for this purpose modern ways of communication has reached to the peak of its level of importance; it is now the part of our daily routine. Sending funny love notes and funny routine quotes by adding the touch of maturity captures other attention of rea der.

One should crush on his/her friends and relatives by sending these lovely sms. Another lingua way of sending texts shows the closeness to the culture of one and other like in Pakistan mostly Urdu Funny sms glares the new impressing and eye catching attention of the reader. Funny sms produces new environment in the reader's mind. If any person is trapped badly in his work and he is tired and bored of doing that work from so long period of time, suddenly he gets sms from his friend which is funny one.

He will be glad to read it and thus entering into an other different phase of his mood he will feel much relax and thus funny sms can also do the work of refreshing someone and giving a break to someone. A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it. Smile can recharge your body activities and can give you that peace of mind which you some times really want badly. So, one should always be connected to such sites and services of Fuuny SMS and funny quotes so that he can also rejoice his daily routine and can smile for once in a day which is definitely going to affect his boring schedule.

Generally SMSs are being sent everywhere and these include all kinds of messages from jokes to quotes but the one which is really common and is sent the most by all the people is the funny SMS.

==funny story==

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Birthday Poems to Irritate Men! - Family

Over the years I seem to have amused and delighted many friends and colleagues by composing funny poems and writing them in their birthday cards. I have now decided to publish my anthology of wit, humour and downright rudeness for the world to enjoy!

These rhymes have proven to be particularly popular with women - demonstrating how cruel and heartless the 'gentler' sex can be to the men in their lives. They can be copied into birthday cards, Father's Day cards, Christmas cards, or simply cut and pasted onto an email... in fact they can be used anytime someone you know needs cheering up - or bringing down a peg or two!

Many of the poems rely heavily on the shortcomings of we poor men; ie, drunkenness, uncontrolled flatulence, lecherousness, good old fashioned plain laziness, inability to master DIY, thinning hair, suspiciously thickening midriff etc, etc. Characteristics which I'm sure apply to some extent to all husbands, boyfriends and sons.

You will see that each poem contains a man's first name, but not as part of the rhyme. In other words, you can easily 'personalise' the rhyme by replacing the name with the name of the person you would like to send it to. (This works best if the names have the same number of syllables. For example, 'Bob' can be changed to John, Dave, Mick, Paul etc; 'Andy' can be changed to Simon, Roger, Alan etc).

For whatever reason you decide to send one, the poor unsuspecting fellow will receive a very amusing rhyme poking fun at some of his - shall we say - less romantic characteristics. A possible side effect is that he may also be impressed at your wit, humour and resourcefulness - but please don't expect him to admit to that. Here they are;

*

Ian doesn't much like it,When you tell him he's losing his hair;And he gets just a little bit grumpy,When you point out his tyre is spare.

So be sensitive now it's his birthday,And remember, the man's not bionic;Sit him down in his chair, don't mention the hairAnd pour him a large Gin and Tonic.

*

John likes booze and John likes women, He doesn't like running and he doesn't like swimming; He likes sitting down and he likes eating grub, He doesn't like work but he does like the pub.

Being John's Missus is a pain in the neck, When he dresses up smart, he still looks a wreck! He thinks posh restaurants and theatres are above him, But I suppose all these things are just reasons I love him!

*

There once was a young man called Laurence,Who when urinating did so in torrents,When asked, "Was it VeniceThat inspired this menace?"

He replied, "No, I learnt it in Florence".

*

Matthew wants presents for his birthday, Matthew wants jewellery and cars, Matthew wants to go out to restaurants, And meet gorgeous women in bars.

Well I've got a present for Matthew, For this playboy who thinks he's so cool, It's what he got me for my birthday, Coincidentally that's B*GGER ALL!

*

Nigel is a gentleman, It isn't just a pose;His shoes are always polished, And he never picks his nose.

He opens doors for ladies, And offers them his seat;His nails are never dirty, And his hair is always neat.

But when it's Nigel's birthday, He loses all his class;He has an awful lot to drink, And ends up on his a*se!

*

Peter when I look at you, I remember when you were twenty-two,Your hair was thick, your wrinkles few, And you didn't spend so long in the loo!

*

Robert, on your birthday, I want you to relax;Sit down and put your feet up, And I'll bring you drinks and snacks.

I'll do all the household chores, And put your clothes away;In fact it won't be much different, To every other day!

*

Vince, Vince, what can the matter be, You're turning into Les Battersby,It's your birthday on Saturday, So for crying out loud mate CHEER UP!

*

Alan you know I love you, You're really very sweet;In fact I'd call you perfect If it wasn't for your feet!

*

Brian has a problem, He's older than before,And now that it's his birthday, He feels a little sore.But Brian shouldn't worry, Or mooch around the house,Because what he lacks in youthfulness, He makes up for with nouse!

*

Charlie likes to have a drink, And he's often in a hurry;But keep your distance in the morning, If he's been out for a curry!

*

David, Happy Birthday Love, I've kept you dressed and fed;Now I ask just one thing of you - Please stop farting in bed!

*

Frank, your birthday's here again, So it's a good time just to sitAnd wonder why for the rest of the year, You're such a miserable git!!

*

Eddie, now you're getting old, And your hair is going grey;I have some words to say to you, On this your special day.

You're generous, wise, good-looking, kind, And all your jokes are funny;But the greatest thing about you Dear, Is all your lovely money!

*

Gary always gets drunk on his birthday, Once he's started, he just cannot stop; So he usually gets slung out the boozer, And comes home with sick down his top!

*

Harry's the perfect husband, For 364 days of the year,But he does go astray on his birthday, By trying to drown in beer!

*

Tony's very good at doing jobs around the house,When it comes to DIY you couldn't find a better spouse;So I thought that for his birthday I would get him something good,To help him with the patio or bevelling of wood.

Should it be a power drill, or something else by Bosch?A Black and Decker sander or a Karcher power wash?But in the end I thought, you shouldn't fix what isn't broken,So I did the same as last year - bought a ten pound record token!

*

There once was a fella called Kevin,For whom being in a pub was just heaven,When offered a drink,He didn't have to think,He would say, "Not just one, I'll have seven"!

*

Today is Dennis's birthday, And he'll probably go out to play,I remember last year he knocked back so much beer, He ended up on Crimewatch UK!

*

Simon likes to go out with his mates, Simon likes to take girls out on dates,He likes fish and chips and he likes Man United, And Keira Knightley gets him really excited.

He'll go out on his birthday and paint the town red,He'll drink the bar dry then take cod and chips to bed,He'll lie there wishing that Manchester was nearer,Then he'll drop off to sleep and dream about Keira.

*

Andy don't want no presents for his birthday, Andy don't want special grub; Andy don't want no cards and kisses, He just wants to go to the pub!

*

Barry is a nuisance on his birthday to be honest, All the usual types of gifts he doesn't like at all; If you haven't spent a fortune he'll thinks your present's modest, So this year I've decided that he's getting B*GGER ALL!

*

Elliot quite likes to party On his birthday, with friends far and wide;But curiously the next morning, He just wants to curl up and hide!

*

Happy birthday Timothy, Go out and have some fun;Keep up your reputation as A Lazy Drunken Bum!

*

There once was a young man called Chris,Who was permanently out on the p*ss,When his birthday came round,He just stayed in his lounge,And drank cocoa all night - oh what bliss!

***

==funny story==

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Making Money Online, get your financial freedom now, a true story - Business

For many years I worked for other people on the daily grind. 9am - 5pm and much longer hours for what now seems like very poor pay.

I suppose looking back on it now, I didn't really know how trapped I was, until one day I discovered a way to make money online.

Since then I haven't looked back and have been making money consistently. For a long time now, I have been

developing a number of interesting methods that can realize lots of money both on and off eBay.

I am now offering you the opportunity to do the same

Your search HAS ENDED NOW...Get ready to start earning a full time income online working just part time from your computer. If you want to start making $1,000+ per day working just a few hours a week you will want to pay very close attention to what I have to say below.

You can now start living your life the way you want! What does this mean... well for me it means not having to wake up at 6 am every morning, not having to deal with a boss who tells me to do all the hard work while he gets richer. For me it means not having to worry about paying the bills. It means spending time with my family and affording all there needs. Its going on vacations many times a year. driving to the mall in my luxury cars. Bottom line is I can do what ever I want, when ever I want to. And I don't have any financial worries. I actually make so much money I couldn't even spend it all if I wanted to.

Enough about me... why am I telling you this? Because I am going to give you access to my secret money making system called making millionaires online. Until now I have never revealed my powerful money making strategies to the public. When I first started making a fortune online I even told my self I would never give away my secrets. However now I have decided to reveal my secret money making system for the first time ever to the public.

I was once where you are trying to figure out how to create an income without having to work long hours. I spent a lot of money trying different businesses. Funny thing is not one of them worked for me. Then one day I came up with a secret idea to make money online. After I started making money online with one of my ideas I put a few more into place and started creating multiple steams of income at home from my computer.

The crazy thing is I now make more in one week than I use to make working for an entire year. But don't start thinking I was born with a silver spoon or I got a big inheritance. I grew up in a lower middle class family and I had no luxuries at all, we couldn't even afford an old car. I can remember not too long ago when I was 3 payments behind on my mortgage, 2 payments behind on my old car and my daughter asking me for a braces, while I can't even afford toothpaste. Life is so much different now that I am making money on the Internet. I am going to share my secret system with you so you can start making money online and living the way you want to live, not just the way you have to

"To be honest, I was a bit skeptical to begin with, but I sat down and worked my way through all the information that I was sent and I could see a very very clear way forward for me. Put it this way, I've earned more than $16,000 in my first month. Thanks to you all." MIKE MORREAU, LOS ANGELES,CA

if you are serious about making money online you need to read this...

I have found a proven money making system anyone can use. You don't need any special computer knowledge. You don't have to know how to build a website, and you don't have to be a marketing guru. So what do you need? All you need to do is follow a few simple steps and you are on your way to making a small fortune online. This system is a set it and forget it system, which will virtually run on 100% autopilot. People just like you are earning enough money to quit their jobs within the first month. Stop worrying about the bills, cancel your daily commute, never leave your family for a job that is making someone else rich, and start living your life the way YOU choose!

With my system you will be able to create multiple streams of income in a matter of a few hours. I provide you with everything you need to start making money online. I will reveal to you my most powerful secrets for making a fortune online. I will give you a STEP BY STEP GUIDE on how to get up and running right away so you can start making money today.

Unlike all of the other programs out there claiming to make you rich my product cuts through the entire BS" everyone else is trying to sell you. Hundreds of people just like you are making more than enough money to quit their jobs within the first month of using this product. Think about it....no more calls from your creditors, no more bosses breathing down your neck, and no more making anybody else rich. Now it's time for you to start living YOUR LIFE the way YOU WANT!

A few people who currently use my secret system have reported incomes between $10,000 and over $100,000 per month. My system is proven to work for everyone who gets his hands on it. You can start seeing the same kind of results, all you have to do is get started today.

A little more about me!

First let me tell you I am not genius by any means, I am an average person who found a way to make a fortune using the internet. One day while at work I browsing the Internet (typical worker) I discovered a whole new world. I went home and turned on my computer and decided to explore the online world. I got so excited from what I saw I decided to use one of my sick days and call off work the following day. I stayed up all night working on putting together this system to make money online finally at 2 in the morning it was up and running and I went to bed. I went to work the next morning, got the usual from my boss and when I returned home I turned on my computer and got online. I could not believe my eyes!!! I made $250 while I was sleeping. This was more money than would earn working.

So needless to say I was able to quit my job one month later because I had made over $28,000 in my first 30 days (I still call him boss when I see him). I have perfected my system and now I make over $100,000 every month. Keep in mind that I only work for two hours per day. Some days I don't even do anything yet I make thousands of dollars. The best part is you can start using my secret money making system and seeing the same type of results right away.

Need Proof ? Actual eBay Account Screen

"There was a lot of great information that I was sent. I decided to give it a shot even though i don't have much time. I made more than $4,000 in 1 week from just one hour of work." susan OTTAWA,CA

Why are you revealing this secret money making system to the public ?

This is the number one question I receive from people. They wonder why not keep it a secret. For a while I did, I never told anyone what I was doing. When I went from being broke and disrespected to Mr. got it all, everyone started asking questions. At first I didn't care, I felt like I was in a dream so I just started enjoying my life as much as I can while I can. Then I realized that this is here to stay and that I have nothing to worry about, unlike my best friend mark that was facing divorce with his wife Kate due to big financial problems.

Now that I was making money online I knew I could help him out in one of two ways. One I could just give him the money, or number two I could show him what I was doing to make money online. Since giving him money will just make him feel like he owes me it was out of question. So I showed him my system for making money online and just three months later he was able to pay off over $16,000 in debt and most importantly save his marriage. Man isnt I the best best man.

Once I saw my money making system work for Mark I decided to help out my other close friends and relatives and show them how to make a fortune online. With my help my cousin Susan now makes online more than 4 times what she makes at her normal job. My brother is in Los Angeles trying to be an actor he wasted 100k so far.

After the success of my friends and relatives I knew there are so many other people out there who could use my system to make money online so I decided to put my system in an easy to follow course and call it making millionaires online. When you purchase the making millionaires online package you will get instant access to my step by step system. You will start making money online right away from your computer...guaranteed.

ARE you living the way you always wanted?

I spend as much time as I want with my family. I go on vacation whenever I choose. I Have NO boss to answer to, NO long commutes in the morning; I decide when it's time to wake up. I Get my self out of debt and bought that new home and car I have always dreamed of. Now that you have access to my secret money making system, making millionaires online you can do the same while making huge amount of money.( trust me as much as you dream of it, it is nothing compare to really leaving it, and you will see...)

I hope you take advantage of my system as it has helped turned my life style into one I only used to dream about. I know it can do the same for you. As amazing as it may sound, you're about to discover just like I did how you can have your very own money making system which will virtually run itself. You just wait for the checks to come home.

"Ok! It's better than ok It's brilliant. With all the details to set up, it was a piece of cake. I've made more than $18,500 in my first six weeks. if you want an other 50 bucks, i'll send it to you lol. Jack micheals- NY,NY.

FEATURES Create Multiple Steams of Residual Income Step by step guide to making thousands of dollars weekly on the Internet Internet secrets and strategies that can make you hundreds of thousands of dollars How to Get your own money making web site Free Updates for Life, Unlimited 24/7 Live Support. 1 on 1 coaching available Exclusive Bonus Items

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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100% Iron Clad 60 DayMoney-Back Guarantee

If after 60 days, you review "The Making Millionaires Online Package ", and you feel this does not do all that we said it would do for you and more, simply contact me and we will process your refund. It's that simple. That's right, if you think this does not live up to your expectations, you won't be out one red cent! Send me an email and I'll refund your purchase...

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==funny story==

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Funny Apartment Stories - Insurance - Rental

Apartment dwellers usually have a thing or two to say about their previous apartments, landlords, neighbors, and much more. Sometimes they may even have some hilarious stories to tell, because when you live in a big building with several other people nearby, there are bound to be some crazy and strange things that happen. These stories tend to focus on landlord mistakes, because for some reason, those are funnier.One woman moved into an upscale apartment with her sister. The apartment looked beautiful, nothing out of place, so they both felt comfortable moving into this nice complex. Some months later, though, the truth began to come out slowly. The first thing was the ceiling fan blade, which had been repaired with duct tape on the top. Apparently, this was not the only thing repaired with magic duct tape. The girls discovered over the course of 2 years that just about everything had been repaired with the silver stuff. Everything from kitchen cabinets to windowsills was patched up with duct tape. It is true that some men claim anything can be fixed with duct tape, but to be honest, they would probably not take it as far as this landlord did!That last landlord may have been cunningly repairing things with nothing but duct tape, but he was not as sneaky as the next one. There was a guy who rented an apartment and realized the dishwasher did not work. He put in a work order for the dishwasher and used the sink until they fixed it. Since he had never had a dishwasher, he did not miss it much, but he did try calling again for the fix about 6 months later. His landlord was so sneaky that he came to fix it the day the renter had asked him to, but never mentioned it.One apartment dweller may or may not be aware of this story, but their landlord is telling it like this. He was trying to fix a strange drip in the apartment bathtub. Unfortunately, all the apartments in the complex were slightly different in the way you have to shut off the water. For this particular one, he was only able to shut off the water halfway. Since this landlord is a self-proclaimed rookie plumber, he made the mistake of attempting to fix the drip anyway, even though the water was not turned off completely. He ended up removing a valve that caused water to spray out continuously. However, it was a good thing he was able to shut off the water halfway, because otherwise he would have been pelted by scorching hot and ice cold water at the same time! In the end, he did figure out how to get the valve back on (after puncturing his hand 16 times!), and also learned how to shut off the water completely. Thankfully, that did lead to that stupid drip in the bathtub being fixed.After reading these stories, you should feel compelled to compare renter's insurance quotes and look into the cost of renter's insurance, just in case your landlord or a previous apartment dweller causes issues with your apartment.Compare Renter's Insurance QuotesCost of Renter's I nsurance

==funny story==

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How I Got My Ex Back..True Story - Relationships

My name is Julie and I want to tell you a story, this is a true story because it happened to me. I had a boyfriend by the name of Alvin, It was more than just a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, it was a full on relationship. We weren't living together all of the time but stayed over at each other's places a lot of the time and it was great.

You know what happened? well we kind of got used to one another, things began to happen, small things at first, he didn't call me when he said he was going to, didn't answer his phone when I called. There always seemed to be an excuse some of them plausible, a lot of them not. I became suspicious, has he met someone else I found myself thinking and then I became cross and decided to have it out with him.

We both became upset, both said a lot of things we didn't mean, the upshot of it was we parted, end of relationship. I was very upset because I was in love with Alvin and I was convinced he was in love with me. I became desperate "he's not getting away that easy " I told myself, so I started to call him often, without success, I sent him lots of sms messages, I even went to his place and banged on the door, still without any success. Oh yes I was desperate and I was becoming depressed. I even wasn't eating much. At one stage I said "to hell with him, I don't need him anyway" but of course that was wrong, I did need him and I loved him. I wanted him back

Then something happened, a girlfriend of mine told me about a book she had heard about, a book on how to repair relationships. I really didn't believe that some one that's written a book could possibly be able to help me. "How could they know all of my personal problems?" I asked myself. Well to make a long story shorter, I purchased this book and I read it and then I read it again. It had many things that you should NOT do to get your ex back, and you know, I was doing most of them. Then there were things to put into place that all but guaranteed to be able to get back together.

This book has so much information, so many strategies that you can use that it is impossible to put it all in this story, but here is just one bit, it was the very thing that got Alvin to reply to me. I let a little time pass and then sent him a hand written letter, very important to be hand written...here is what I wrote...

"Hi Alvin Just wanted to drop of a short note to let you know that I am totally ok with your decision to split up. Actually I saw it coming for a while. I wanted to also let you know how sorry I am for carrying on like I have been. It was totally disrespectful to you, I really do apologise. Oh! Some good news! I had a fantastic change in fortune and luck the other day. Funny timing...huh? Love to fill you in...But in the future. You and I both need some space right now. Regards Julie"

Yes Alvin did reply, I was amazed. The first thing that I tried from the book had worked. That alone didn't get us back to gether, but the follow up advice did.

There is a lot more I could tell you in this story, but the most important bit is that Alvin and I are really back together, stronger than ever and are planning to marry. I have told this story because I know that there is may people suffering from bad breakups, it really is very serious and when you are right in the middle there often seems there is no way out.

I learned there is a way out of almost any situation we find ourselves in regarding our relationship breakdown. Most of all I learned that we are NEVER alone. Reading this book showed me that..There Really Is Magic in Making Up.

Leran the powerfull stratergies and meet the author on video..If YOU want to get your ex back almost immediatley..Read the special review on this great book Go to.. There Really is Magic in Making Up

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==funny story==

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Mommy Humor - Funny Short Story: Lying - Entertainment - Humor

This is a funny short story about lying. Lying is a learned skill. Some people are good at it, and others are not. Poker players can't win without being great at it. Politicians can't get elected without perfecting the art. As parents, we need to be able to detect it. The key for the liar is knowing when to make the attempt (you can get away with it) and when to show restraint. Thankfully most of our young children are really bad at it now, but I predict that unfortunately they'll get better at it as they get older. This funny short story won't help you deal with the lying, but hopefully it'll cheer you up while you're dealing with it.

We have two kids; they're around the same age (girl-9 & boy-7). They're also around the same size which becomes important when fists fly, but doesn't really come into play for the lying thing. As you no doubt have already guessed (based on your own vast experience), the most common case is a pair of fingers pointing in the opposite direction.

I know SOMEBODY did it. It's not even worth my time to ask Mommy if SHE did it because when was the last time Mommy mistakenly (or lazily) dropped a half-eaten candy cane on the carpet floor? And sure, I had a couple of drinks last night, but I don't even LIKE candy canes. No, the guilty party is definitely standing right in front of me. All I have to do is figure out who it is.

Here's the funny part: While I'm planning my next move in response to the criss-cross of accusational fingers, the guilty party fesses up!... and I can't for the life of me figure out why! Perhaps it's because both of them (or at least the guilty one) didn't take the time to ponder how even Sherlock Holmes would be at a loss at where to start. It's not out of fear; I've never even raised my voice to either of them (I'm saving that for the right moment, like for the first time one of them drinks and drives or performs some other life threatening sin of stupidity).

The punishment is minor. Pick up the candy cane and spend a minute or so rubbing the sticky carpet with a damp sponge... or if the offense was failing to put away the Wii video game you lose one day of access to the device. My best guess is that the lack of sting included in the punishment is what's helping in the perpetrator discovery phase.

The kids don't do any better in the flip-side scenario. "Who spilled food coloring all over the fireplace?" produces the two pointing fingers, but only one of them is covered in purple food coloring. It's hard to not laugh.

Another funny short story (shorter but funnier), about a year ago I went on a walk with my friend and his two kids. In the interest of his privacy I neither confirm nor deny that this friend is a relative of mine, or even that this friend exists outside of my vivid imagination. Anyway, I'm talking on my cell phone and at some point there's a commotion that catches my attention. I hear my friend say, "I'm sure he wasn't TRYING to kick you!" The boy interjects, "I WAS trying to kick her, but I missed and kicked her bike instead."

Well there you have it. They've got a lot to learn before graduating from law school. In the meantime let's be thankful for their lack of skill in the art of deception, hoping that it takes as long as possible for them to catch on. Also in the meantime it provides plenty of material for a funny short story.

DISCLAIMER: While the events described above are representative of true to life events in the life of the author, details of the story may be fuzzy or embellished for the benefit of the reader's enjoyment and for the benefit of SEO (Search Engine Optimization - the keyphrase is "funny short story"... Admit it, that's what you typed into the search box).

Sales plug: If you have a young child that is just starting to learn about numbers, the Kidknows TM Outdoor Thermometer for kids is now available on-line and at select Learning Express stores nationwide. Please click on: THIS ARTICLE to visit this article on our web site or on: KIDKNOWS TM OUTDOOR THERMOMETER to visit our home page.

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5 Funny Moving Stories - Home - Moving and Relocating

OK, so you are about to move. Did your research on movers. Found a moving company with decent pricing, somewhat decent reviews and bearable BBB rating. Packed most of your stuff. Moving day is coming. Excited?

You might as well be, because you never know what's waiting for you on the move day!

Some of the funniest stories I've heard during my extensive moving business career:

1. Knock knock! You open the door. Your movers have arrived. Except, they are an exceptional crew consisting of a 65 year old man, an illegal immigrant who doesn't speak any English as was randomly picked up at a random gas station, and a waitress from your local Waffle House. They all admit this is going to be the first move in their lives. Except the older gentleman who claims to be the crew leader. He believes in himself and his team. This has happened to one of our customers several years ago. He called Milestone Relocation immediately after kicking out (literally) his moving crew down the stairs.

2. You are moving today. Your movers are unreachable, and obviously they are not here. You move by yourself or hire someone else. Two days later, your movers, the ones that never showed up, call you and tell you that they are going to be a little late because they have a flat tire. Sounds funny? It's a true story!

3. Your movers show up on time. Do an extremely good job. One item is left on the truck: your grandma's ancient clock. A 200 pound clock, which is basically all that has left for her to remember your granddad who passed away several years ago. The move went well, you and your family, including your grandma, are watching how your movers are getting ready to unload the clock off the truck. For the 97th time, you remind your movers to be extremely careful. They nod their heads confirming understanding the importance of this. One of them even says, "Don't worry, we are professionals!" Your grandma is watching in relieve: after all, the movers did a great job, and they can't mess up the only item which is left. On the "Don't worry" words, your grandma almost falls down on her butt: she can't believe movers are screaming, the clock is falling from 4 feet high, and the ancient glass is all over the place!

4. "I understand my company charged you more than 3 times above their estimate and refused to unload your items before you pay the full balance in cash. It's nice you are so understanding. But we work on tip, and if don't get tipped right now, we will not unload your belongings no matter what the company says."

5. "I just came back from jail. I did my 8 year sentence for beating up my wife. Do you really think I care when you threaten me saying you will call the police because I am not unloading your stuff before you tip me?"

These stories are funny until they happen to you. Do not be negligent. Protect yourself by choosing a moving company carefully. Do you research. Google it. Read reviews. Make sure they are licensed. And then, when you help yourself, God will help you too.

Happy moving!

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Here?s a true story about a person I know - Business

Here's a true story about a person I know. I had been living in my new home for about 3months. I was telling my friend how muchmy house cost to build. He said he wishedhe could find the money to build a newhouse. I told him about the plan my wife andI made to be able to free up extra money thewhole time we was building our home. Hetold me that he and his family lived in afairly nice singlewide mobile home.

He hada pickup and a car. His car was paid off, buthis pickup was new and very nice. Hispickup payments were $600 a month.I saw this as an opportunity to help him with my expertadvice. I laid the whole plan out for him. If he would sellhistruck and buy a beatermobile pickup that wasdependable enough to get him to work but cheap enoughto have a low monthly payment or perhaps no payment atall, he could save enough money every month to startbuying materials immediately to build his house. Plus, hewould have a perfect truck for hauling building materials.

I figured that after two years his house would be far enough along and would have such aconsiderable amount of equity that loan brokers would be falling over themselves to givethis guy a construction loan, regardless of his credit rating, which wasn't very good.After a few months, his project would be completed and he could consolidate all his billsinto a Home Mortgage Loan with low interest. Plus, he could sell his Mobile Home andtake the equity (if there was any).Well, that was a good plan and it would have worked for him and he would have onlyhad to borrow such a small amount to actually finish his home. It would have beenbecause of the monthly equity he was putting into the house itself.It made a lot moresense than throwing it away on something that would be worthless by the time itsmortgage was paid off like his shiny truck.But, I didn't consider the human factors ofpride and reputation in my calculations andestimates. He shot my idea down with nohesitation at all. I asked him, "Would yousacrifice the next two years of pride if youknew that you could live comfortably for therest of your life?" He said, "I'll find anotherway so I can always have my nice trucks and aplace to live."

I remembered thinking, "This guy, like so many others, doesn't get it." I left it at that andnever talked to him about it again. But, you know, it's been over five years since thatconversation took place. He still drives the same truck, and lives in the same singlewide.Both have lost their luster, both have been refinanced, and neither are worth what theystill owe against them and the struggle goes on.I don't think that's funny, it's sad because his story is thesame one I see everywhere.I don't want anyone to suppose that building your own houseis going to solve all your problems. It won't, I mean, it hasn'tsolved all my problems. But, it sure has given me morepositive options to help face an unfair world. It sure seems asif this world wants to stomp on our hopes and dash ourdreams before we even have a chance to get them started.One of the biggest obstacles to overcome after you decidethat you're going to build your own house is people tellingyou not to do it. When you se e all the hoops that theinspectors make you jump through, you just might bag thewhole idea. It's that discouraging. But if you can see the bigpicture, you won't have any trouble sticking with the plan.

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Are aliens real and is the fourth kind a true story? - Spirituality - Paranormal

Are aliens real and is the fourth kind a true story? These are very contradictional questions. The human kind has tried to answer them for a long time now and still be can not find a single proof that it is true. How ever we can not find proves that it is not true.

Are aliens real and is the fourth kind a true story? Most people believe that it is true this is because it is only logical that we are not the only ones who live in the universe. There are many far away planets and galaxies out there. And maybe at one of them there are few planets that have the same geographical conditions that enable life for any kind to evolve there. And even if there are aliens somewhere far away from us we still have the problem of shortening the distance between us. The fourth kind movie is about a psychic mystery of missing people in Nome Alaska. It was believed that aliens did it and kidnapped them in their UFOs to another planet. All these people have never return to earth and the police is still trying to figure out what was going on there. Of course they don't think it was an alien abduction but on the other hand they can not find any alternative explanations.

One day will come and we will have the answer for questions like Are aliens real and is the fourth kind a true story? Everything that happens has a reason but we don't always see it. And there are many secrets and mysteries on earth. It is true that scientist try to reveal all kind of these questions, sometimes they succeed and sometimes they are clueless. So if you are looking for a straight answer then we currently don't have it but you can do the research for yourself. In most of the times people just end this by believing it or not and go back to their daily life. Not everyone can dedicated his or her all time to this task of solving the aliens mystery but again, we can be sure that someday something will happen and we will get all of our answers.

The same thing goes with scary clowns - people like you and me that are hiding behind funny clothing and shinny makeup. But when we try to get a closer look we also get confuse. First they looks like cartoons from TV show, then we can not see their face mimes - if they are happy, sad or even want to hurt us and the last thing, again we can not really know what are they. They act funny like kids but they are adults and their gender is not always clear to us. And the worse of all is that they can do whatever they like without being punished, only because the society thinks that they are funny.

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How To Prevent Stress -- A Funny True Story - Self Help - Motivational

Considering the fact that this is coming from a guy who writes about how to prevent stress and manage anxiety symptoms, I suspect that this ironic little story will strike your funny bone. Let me tell you about a day I had recently -- there is a lesson to be learned here.

Did you ever have one of those days when you just did not want to get out of bed? I had been up until 3:30 the night before; and no, I was not up partying all night (alas, my party days are but a distant memory now). As happens sometimes, I was doing some research for a project I was working on and the clock got away from me.

As I lay there in bed dreading the thought of actually moving, I ran through the list of things that I had to get done: work on the website, straighten out some issues regarding a couple of business deals that were giving me problems, write TWO articles, write AND practice a speech for a presentation I had to give in a few days, and to somehow squeeze in time to get to the gym... Needless to say, I was feeling overwhelmed before I even set foot out of bed -- which is not a great way to start the day!

As my day progressed, the symptoms of stress and anxiety reared their ugly head. I yelled at my dog. I cursed the telephone as it tumbled to the floor and out of my reach behind the desk. I was feeling tired, anxious, frustrated, and generally cranky and by 9 o'clock that evening I was exhausted and I did not want to do another single thing, but I still had one article left to write.

I procrastinated. I looked at the computer screen. I checked email. I yelled at my dog again (poor fella, he's such a good boy and he didn't deserve it). I leaned back and stared at the ceiling when a notion struck me. Like a diamond bullet going a thousand miles an hour it struck me right in the center of my forehead. I started to laugh. I laughed hard and I laughed loud. My dog came over to see what the commotion was all about and I gave him a good belly rub that escalated into a five minute session of "where is the tennis ball hiding?"

I collapsed on the living room floor with a big smile on my face and I proceeded to stretch out my muscles and practice deep breathing exercise. By 9:30 I was feeling completely refreshed and in a fantastic mood! By 10:10 the article was finished and submitted. I watched a little TV and was in bed by 11 o'clock. It was a good night.

So, what is the moral of the story? The moral is that there really are simple tips and techniques for how to prevent stress that actually work! Stress management need not be complicated. Whenever you are feeling stressed, tense, overworked and anxious, try taking a break, having a good laugh, stretching out your muscles and breathing deeply for a few minutes.

Of all people, I should have known better. Had I practiced what I preach and taken a few breaks during the day a lot of aggravation could have been avoided. By the way, do you want to know the topic of the article that was driving me to distraction? You guessed it -- it was about how to prevent stress!

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Why Funny Games Are Better Than War Or Car Games? - Entertainment - Gambling

Compared to traditional computer games, modern computer games are more advanced thanks to technological development in software technology. Given the kind of technology used in the games, there has been an increased demand for them as a result of the motions and effects used. Children, teenagers and young adults are the biggest consumers. The most popular amongst the gaming market fraternity is war and car games. Sleek and fast cars are boys play thing and separating them is as hard as getting water out of a rock. Nonetheless, unknown to a majority of parents is the long term effect that war and car games have on their children. Many have continually made the mistake of pleasing their children by buying for them these games at the expense of their psychological development. First and foremost, war and car games are violent. When scrutinized properly, you will realize that most car racing games have elements of violence and crime. For example, to be a pro you have to evade as many police checks as possible whilst smashing other cars in the street. War games on the other hand are war games. As children grow up, they have this mentality that in order to get what you want. However, this has not to be the case. You can alter this image by starting to encourage your children to play more of funny games. There are several types of funny games that are available in the market that you can choose for your children depending on their ages. Moreover, you can easily download these games from iFunny games. Some can be downloaded for free while there are those that require you to make some payments.One thing about funny games is that they make you laugh. Ask any doctor and they will tell you that laughter is the best medicine. Funny and exciting games cut across the board. It does not matter how old you are. After a long and stressful day, you can wind your day on a good note with a couple of laughers. By laughing, all those bottled up feelings are let loo se. In the end, you will find that you are able to relate to other people freely. In children and teenagers, the affect is even greater. With time, children start caring for those around them. Many are the times you will find them hurdled in a corner sharing some funny stories or jokes that they picked from the games.

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funny commercial - Entertainment - Humor

What is a funny commercial?

Airing a funny commercial is one way of advertising. A funny advertisements aims to drive people buy a certain product by airing a certain TV advertisement with a funny story or concept. it is usually becomes very well remembered by many people because of its unique and funny concept. It could also have a jingle or any music that could improve the scenes in it. Using it is one effective way of persuading people to buy a product. it is also one of the most common ways of advertising because many people nowadays have their television that is why this would be viewed by many people simultaneously on the televisions.

What is the difference between a cool commercial and a serious commercial?

If we will compare a funny commercial to a serious commercial, we will notice that this is often used to advertise a specific product while a serious commercial is often used to inform people about a certain political movement or campaign. A silly commercial is better remembered by most people because of the fun and uniqueness that it shows. Often, it also has a funny music or jingle to enhance the commercial more. A serious commercial also has a commercial music, but the music is much more serious.

Where can we find a funny commercial?

A funny commercial is often found on televisions. But this could also be found on humor sites. Complete and improved versions of hilarious commercial can also be viewed on these humor sites. Along with it, other funny stuffs like pictures can also be viewed on these humor sites. You could also see stuffs like this in video streaming sites like youtube, just type the keyword "funny commercial".

What is one good example of a humor site?

One good example of these humor sites is jargogle.co.cc. Jargogle is a site wherein you can find much fun stuff like, jokes, pictures, videos, games, riddles, widgets, and examples of a funny commercial. You can also play some cool games and try many fun widgets in this humor site aside from seeing this. An active forum is also available in this site so you can easily interact with the other members of the site. You can try asking them some questions or suggestions that could improve the jargogle site. You will really have a good time visiting this fun site!

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Add Humor to Your Speech Without Telling Jokes - Entertainment

How frequently have you ever heard another person begin a speech with a joke? Also typically possibly. Speakers with minimal expertise are inclined to inform jokes simply to get a chuckle within the hope the audience will warm approximately them. The jokes in many cases are irrelevant towards the subject of their speech.

Seasoned speakers know you will find better methods to add humor to some speech or presentation, which include:.

Utilizing funny stories and anecdotes--not jokes--in your speech

Every person has had negative experiences that come to be funny using the passage of time. They make terrific stories Remember that today's tragedy is tomorrow's humorous anecdote.

Should you do not come to feel cozy talking about by yourself, borrow stories from other people. It really is acceptable to as long as you credit score the source.

Gathering Stories from your audience

"Jollytologist" Allen Klein tells how he'd normally request his audiences "How do you spell relief?" "L-A-U-G-H" was his remedy. Then for the duration of amongst his presentations, an audience member cried out, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E." It was hysterical. Klein now relates the tale as element of numerous of his presentations.

Creating an enjoyable atmosphere while in the room previous to you speak

Given that I'm a former news anchor and sportscaster, I occasionally arranged to the man or woman introducing me to show some of my worst on-air bloopers in video clip clips (there was ample substance to draw from). The bloopers generally obtained individuals laughing, and in addition permit them know I wasn't afraid to laugh at myself a little--a good way to connect with them suitable from the get started.

Self-denigrating humor

From the 70's, President Gerald Ford was skewered on a regular basis on Saturday Evening Dwell about his absence of grace. Ford struck back by making entertaining of himself far better compared to SNL writers actually could.

He informed his audiences about the evening he met his wife Betty, and just how he wished to dance together with her "in the worst way." Then he'd say, "And Betty later informed me I did just that--dance in the worst way."

Ford also said he had to develop into the middle on his college football crew due to the fact middle was the one position where he did not must move my ft.

If someone as critical being a previous president can poke enjoyable at himself, the rest of us can also. Self-denigrating humor is usually a highly effective instrument.

Making use of attention-grabbing props within your speech

I'd often bring along "IFB" to make use of as a like a prop. An IFB (which stands for "interruptible feedback) is definitely an ear piece Tv reporters use when they're engaging in stay reviews from your scene of the news tale. The IFB enables them to listen to what the folks back again from the studio are declaring to them as they're currently being released, and in addition will allow them to hear queries the anchors may inquire.

I might sometimes indicate a blooper clip of what can come about when something goes improper with the IFB. The clip showed a female reporter stuttering and stammering for the duration of a live report. She sounded definitely smashed. She was not.

It turns out someone had unintentionally pressed the wrong button back inside command place, as well as the reporter was hearing her individual words in her IFB about 50 percent a second immediately after she spoke, which, just take my term for it, is highly distracting. For about fifteen seconds, she battled and tried to become as skilled as she could, but the more challenging she tried, the funnier she sounded. She finally ripped the IFB from her ear and ongoing her report.

The clip constantly got the audience howling.

Borrowing humor

Cyberspace is often a terrific put to seek out 1 liners and humorous rates. Personally, I borrowed generally from Yogi Berra ("When you come to some fork inside street, just take it..."), Will Rogers ("when Democrats would like to form a firing squad, they get right into a circle...") and many other individuals.

Getting humor from individuals who provide it

There are experts who will write amusing stuff available for you, and they are usually not pricey. You'll be able to also look at your local comedy club and use a person who's almost certainly quite great at composing a person liners. Or do a search for "humor writers" or "humorists" via the internet.

Steve Allen as soon as stated, "People would relatively be entertained than educated." But when you may entertain and teach in the very same time, you've got the makings of a good speech--without ever telling just one joke.

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5 ideas in order to make your 21st birthday funny - Non-Profit

Your 21st birthday party is without a doubt expected to be pretty amusing in many instances because of the drinking that is definitely included and also the celebration mood. A funny not to mention awesome 21st birthday party could make every single guest that has been in the party to not forget it as one of the best 21st birthday party that he was at, and i'm convinced you want that, don't you? Of course you're, on this manual you will find out several ideas which will rock your party as well as make it amazing, here is a number of them:

Get Funny T-shirts To be able to make any person who looks at your party guests to giggle, get for you and for all of your invited guests similar Funny T shirts. You can also get only 1 for yourself so almost everyone definitely will notice that you're the special birthday man. Generally there are usually a lot of t-shirts types, hence you will need to pick just what suits you the most and then get it! Interesting example: "21 and hot, buy me a shot."

Funny games Play funny games with your own pals. The ideal games are games like truth or dare (dare is the very best). When somebody gets chosen, tell her to perform embarrassing things which come to your imagination. There are actually even more amazing games for instance Ben Dover when you are meant to pick stuff from the ground using your mouth only, try it out!

Send out Funny Birthday bash Invitations Funny party invites boosts the number of people that can be coming over to your 21st birthday party definitely. Be certain to write down funny quotes inside it, add a funny image such as your baby picture or possibly you can write your whole 21st birthday invitation as a joke together with the party details inside it.

Write a Funny 21st birthday speech A funny speech can certainly make all the family and friends giggle on the 21st birthday guy and definately will be well remembered. Include funny stories about you and the birthday guy, funny private jokes and funny quotes such as: "Lastly 21, and legally able to try and do anything I have already been doing since 16"," Happy 21st you are adopted!","Feeling Old? You should be: You are 147 in dog years.", "At 21 you can have it all the bills, problems and responsibilities of an grownup.Have a great time!"

Costume party Costume will be a fantastic concept for the people to begin using their own imaginative and humorous side; you are able to host a funny costume competition, or give your friends a mask with your photo on it so everyone will seem just like you!

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